By Giusy Perrotta
Every June, the world is invited to celebrate, reflect, and stand in solidarity with the LGBTQIA+ community. Pride month is a time for visibility, for those who have found their way, and for those who are still on the journey.
Some people wonder why Pride exists at all. Straight people do not parade, so why should gay people? The answer is simple: because they need to be heard and recognized. In a world that has not always made space for them, Pride is a way of saying “we are here, and we matter.”
Of course, as with anything, there will be people who use that space to manifest something different, something that does not quite represent the spirit of it all. But at its core, Pride is not about separating anyone. It is about coming together, straight people included, as human beings. Same rights, same duties, same treatment. Or at least, that is what it should be, and what many of us are still working towards.
And yet, the most difficult prejudice to fight is not always the loudest one. It is not the insult in the street or the open hostility. It is the quiet one, the one that hides behind a smile and the words: “I am not homophobic, I have lots of gay friends, but…” That “but” is where the real problem lives. Because what follows is usually disagreement with gay marriage, adoption, Pride parades, or even coming out. Things that, when you look at them honestly, have no civil or moral grounds to be opposed to.
Pride speaks of visibility and belonging. So does our community. We want to talk about identity. This is our way of bringing both worlds together.
Identity and Belonging
Our own identity is formed by different aspects. Some are developed through the years by the environment we live in, and some others we are born with.
When people are born, there is no interview or process to determine what their sexuality will be and/or how their mind works.
And prejudice is not born with us either. Children, for example, do not naturally discriminate. If nobody tells them that two women or two men showing affection is wrong, they will not find it strange. They will simply see it as love. Prejudice is something we are taught. And what is taught can also be unlearned.
Two characteristics that are not considered “typical”, two universes that combine lots of difficulties, fears, a sense of not belonging, and often a delicate sensitivity.
A Story Worth Telling
I will tell you a story. It is not real, but definitely a realistic one.
Carrie lived in her own world where she was the main character, mostly a hero. She was respected, loved, and felt valued as a very intelligent little girl.
Her world could also be tough at times, but she would always find a way out.
She was beautiful, people wanted to be with her and be her friend.
In the real world, the situation was very different.
As Carrie preferred her own reality, she did not study enough or do her chores. As a consequence, the adults around her thought that she was lazy.
It could seem that way, but her mind was actually in constant movement.
One story after another, a detailed composition of reality, just like a book or a movie plot.
Carrie, at the centre of her bedroom, rocking with repetitive movements, headset on, a number of songs played repeatedly depending on the mood: there she was, the fantasy started, this was happiness, this was being safe.
People kept reading that as laziness, and the music listening as “weird” and “stupid”.
The times of toys were slowly going away, giving precedence to the first crushes.
In her world, Carrie was not imagining a John or a Frank. When the opportunity arose, she found herself looking at a girl in a way she had never imagined before.
She did not know what that was, she could not understand it.
The people around her were quick to interpret those signals as: “You are a lesbian”, and not in a reassuring way.
Carrie cried for a long time. Her mama could not understand why, and Carrie could not say it. In fact, she could not even say that to herself.
Years passed by and Carrie was able to realize what was going on.
She felt weird and abnormal.
After some time, she realized that she did not know anything about that. She lacked knowledge and needed to learn.
She met other people like her, lesbians, and thought: “Oh, they are normal people.”
It was a difficult transition, but love helped her and the people around her.
Many years later, she also realized that her way of listening to music was not weird or abnormal either. It was a coping mechanism of her mind, probably neurodivergent, called Maladaptive Daydreaming.
Carrie had never felt so “normal” before.
Pride Is for Every Kind of Mind
And perhaps that is what Pride is really about. Not just the parades and the flags, but the quieter moment when someone finally thinks: I am not alone. I am not broken, I am just different.
But society can be very rough and cynical. Diversity is not always celebrated, and many biases are still part of our lives. Mostly, this is because of a lack of awareness and the fear of having to deal with what we do not understand. If we do not know something, that is okay. What matters is that we are willing to learn. When we refuse to understand, ignorance becomes harm.
There is something that we can do, though: be less judgmental and open our minds to understand different situations and experiences. This Pride month, that invitation extends to every kind of mind, every kind of heart, including the ones still lost in their own beautiful, complicated world.